It's Resolution making Time!

New Year resolutions are something that I vowed never to make when I was small because they just didn’t make any sense what so ever! There was absolutely no logic in turning a new leaf only on one single day, only to turn back a few days later! There is no reason why that one single day is singled out when we are supposed to take life one step at a time. Why do we bother to think about what we would do in a year’s time when we aren’t even sure how we will get through tomorrow? I think the best form of resolutions come at the most unexpected of times! The times when Life would have taught us a lesson and we just wouldn’t want to repeat that mistake again! When we have realised our mistake, sometimes it brings about a change internally very slowly! Sometimes you don’t even know that it is happening until after a while you realise you could live without that particular thing you thought you couldn’t live without. I recently read an article on New Year resolutions and believe me I seriously was amused by the entire article that it got me thinking. I had this subject called Total Quality Management, in which they say that in order to motivate a worker in an organisation we induce a negative form of theme- that is instead of saying I will become a good girl this year, I say I will stop being a bad girl! Well that won’t make sense unless you actually have a look at the subject! I really can’t imagine that I am actually using my subjects in real life! Whoo hoo! I am proud of myself! I kept promising myself that I would lose weight every year only to give up on the first day when I have to get up early morning! But one fine day I did reduce weight; this didn’t start on New Year’s Day as a resolution! It just started very slowly inside me without me knowing! Now I know that I am going to be writing this cause the only good thing which is going to be happening from this is I am still writing my Blog like a good girl! Knowing so very well that I am just putting on weight cause all I’m actually doing is enjoying the cold weather and spoiling myself by getting up late, skipping breakfast on days I don’t feel like eating, switching on the laptop and going about doing absolutely nothing of use! Then putting the laptop for charge while I see a few sit-coms on TV! Then eating in between and I again sit with the laptop and the TV again! So that’s how I spend my vacation, so you can imagine what I would probably become! But that’s apart from the point, the point is that we make resolutions which we want but are not that needy about it! Because if we were, we would have fought till we satisfied our wish! Either ways, I wish everyone a Happy New Resolution Making Year!

Everyone wants to be a STAR!

This was something that I heard in a talk show recently, where the host and the “Star” said that every single human wants to be a star! So be it, to each their own! Just listening to that I wondered whether they realised that the stardom comes attached with Great responsibility. Without that, how can you call a person a star? They have done something great maybe once but it must continue, it mustn’t just stop there! This was something I had a discussion with a professor! It ain’t easy being a star but sometimes we really don’t want to be known because of the strings attached! It’s like some of the parables in the Bible! Where Jesus says when you give make sure your left hand doesn’t know you gave it! That’s the real star! Not someone who comes on TV! We are still alive because of the numerous forms of people working to make life on earth a little easier, the numerous soldiers whose names we don’t know out there whose given up their lives for the country, the numerous doctors out there trying to save these very “Star’s” Lives, the scientists, social workers! How do people define Stardom? Seriously, if ever it deals with people who are known by at least a part of the world it should be redefined! It’s not like I am against any sort of this “Stardom” but it is high time people redefine it! A Star doesn’t need to come on TV! How many of us know of people who are stars in our own eyes? For me it starts with my family, from my Grandfather to my Grandmother to my Parents- especially my Mother to my Aunt! We are seriously happy just being the way we are, we don’t want fame! We want our own little Private garden where we can make our own little mistakes without it being brought into the scrutiny of the whole world! We want to learn from those mistakes in our own time! A real star is what that person is in the dark and not what he is when he is in the spotlight! Celebrities do a lot of things in the limelight but do they lead the same lives in the dark? My Grandfather is a real Star…. He’s been among the people who fought for our country, he’s been among the people who worked hard to change the way people lived, he’s made life easier for so many people known and unknown! He’s made life easier for me! I really don’t care whether anyone ever knew my grandfather to be a star but to me he was a Star and will remain so forever! The same applies to my Grandmother and my Mother, My mother has made life easier at home not for just my brother and me but for 3 generations- my grandparents generation, her generation and mine! She has worked tirelessly without getting the slightest bit of appreciation! What drives her to still do it, without a grumble? That is a real star! She is a real star! My aunt she’s fought Cancer and that is no frivolous task with a family to maintain! These are the people who inspire us truly in our day to day lives! these people have given themselves for us, they’ve given up their happiness for us! They are the Real stars!

The Great Indian Mallu Wedding

Malayalee weddings are known for their grandeur in the form of the gold worn by each and every person in the hall, leave alone the Bride! The women (Mostly, the older generation), play the game of who’s worn the most expensive sari and who’s worn the maximum amount of Gold in the hall. Not just among themselves but they’ll compare each and every person in the hall. They’ll find out who are the next most eligible bachelors and bachelorettes. They classify the eligible ones under the basis of: 1. Education, 2. Salary- though it’s a wonder how they know it better than the people who are working, 3. Family income- in the form of property and the like (popularly called “Sothe” in Malayalam.) 4. Dowry expected 5. Family line No one now is bothered about anything else, before with the oldest generation (i.e.; Our Appacha’s and Ammachi’s times), People were a bit bothered about how the girl and boy looked, whether they are loving and kind. But alas, even after looking into all those detail’s, once there is the union of two souls, there is also the union of the “Sothe”- from both the sides. Sometimes, not all the times, certain people get a bit too greedy and something’s they don’t deserve they take over. Not bothering about the state of affairs of their parents! But that’s that about the inside affairs of the Great Indian Mallu wedding! Every wedding is always a grand affair, so is it with us. It is just not any different. We enjoy it in the most homely manner with the selection of clothes for the Bride or the Groom, the selection of that Wedding invite which people would feel so welcomed with. Gold shopping. Bride and Groom’s parent’s clothes shopping, the clothes shopping for each of the direct extended family. Shopping for the Bride and the Groom, when they go meet relatives, when they go on their honey moon. Shopping is fun, though it involves getting into a million shops! The number of shopkeeper’s we would have irritated, the number of salespeople we would’ve driven crazy with our wants. We come back home tired and still find a moment to laugh about how we drove those people crazy. The getting dressed up for the wedding starts almost a month before for the entire family, with a few exceptions. The amount of cameras clicked, to relive those lost moments when we feel lost and lonely. The putting in of ideas for decorations, gifts, food and lots more! The writing of toasts and the Google searching of ideas to make the wedding an extra special affair for the entire family! The togetherness starts a few days before D-day, there are a number of last minute activities we do on those last few days! The screams across the house, the tidying up for that last dinner party which will be thrown by the Bride’s and the Groom’s side! This is one of the only events which brings the entire family together- we see relatives we have never seen before, we see the happiness in each one’s face, the joy of just being together, the “being yourself” attitude being brought out from the depths! The pulling of the Bride’s and Groom’s leg, wondering what kind of terrorists the other family would be. (No offence, to be taken in the funniest form) And on D- day, we see a myriad of emotions again… the bride and the groom will probably have never imagined such a perfect day or such a scary day or I don’t know, I’ll fill you on details when I get married. There are a number of photographs taken of the entire family with the bride and the groom, the Priest prays at the Groom’s and the Bride’s place. (Different one’s of course) The Bride is blessed by the Uncle’s in the family. The car, so carefully decorated soon drives into Church, the relatives shush as the Most Beautiful Girl and the Most Handsome Boy emerges from the car. They are of course, the stars to be admired for the day! Back inside the church, Mother’s sit with their eligible sons and look out for eligible daughter –in – laws. To which we just, act as if nothing happened and smile at their interaction! The ceremony is the most purest form of love! Nothing could ever beat its purity! Sometimes the ceremony just drags that our minds are drawn to what there will be to eat! Hoping our favourites would be there! Alas, this is the Great Indian Mallu Wedding! 

A Letter

Dear God, You know who I am; You know how good I have been and how bad I have been. (Even though that’s Santa’s job too) How true I have been and how true I have not been. You know what my future holds, You know every single detail. Your planning is just impeccable and incomparable. You are brought about as Our Ever Loving God and Ever Forgiving Father and maybe it’s because of that I write this letter to you. There are so many things I have taken for granted, so many times when I haven’t thanked you! You’ve kept me safe through thick and thin, you’ve kept my Family safe! Many a time I have forgotten to keep my promise to you alive, and I get furious when somebody doesn’t keep my promise. I lash back at you, when things don’t go my way. I ask you why you couldn’t get me through that one time, forgetting to thank you for all those times you got me through life! No wonder they call you Ever Loving and Ever Forgiving. You haven’t just got me through Life; you’ve taught me in your own time how to play this game called life, through little lessons every single day of my life. You’ve fulfilled my wishes, though many a times I don’t deserve it. You have taught me that something’s have to be earned. You’ve taught me that you cannot blame anyone for your mistakes except you. You’ve filled me up with that extra bout of energy, that extra loving heart, that extra wary personality to keep me safe and you’ve taught me that Charity always starts at Home! You’ve stood by me, when the entire world turned against me! You taught me that, there was nothing greater than fighting for One’s family and it’s values. You’ve showed me your angel’s and your work in the most unexpected of situations, through family, friends and enemies. Who else could teach this little girl so much! Thank you so much Dear God! I love you and I want you to know that I don’t do things on purpose, sometimes they are just weighed with a lot of emotion. Yours lovingly, Me. 

SATISFACTION, STUBBORNESS, GRATITUDE & SACRIFICE!

Why aren't we ever satisfied with things we have and always want things instantly which we do not have? Why are we unwilling to sacrifice things which we want or have if it will make someone happy? That's when a family come's in- Grandparents, Parents... I'm one among them, well just till I pass that particular item in the store! But sometimes, my stubborn nature gets the better of me and I act so adament just to get that, my parents would probably put something they would've wanted just to satisfy my need! I have seen all the Women- My Grandmother, Mother, Aunt's in my life put their wants on hold just to satisfy their kith and kin, only to get Nil Gratitude! I think that trait is hidden in every girl from the minute they are born! But some are just unwilling to except the fact- me included! ;) The same things happen's in life, you want something but you just don't have it... instead your worst enemy just got it! Whew isn't that enough to put you on an all time low! The problem is that we want to get affected with the fact that we don't have it! There are so many things that we have that so many other's don't have! But it just doesn't seem the same without that new extra thing! That new extra thing which we haven't earned as yet! It's just that we feel a little alone to some extent, a little scared about how we will be accepted by society! Society now play's such a role in our day to day lives! Everyday!Have you ever realised that it is not a Trend- it's neither a Seasonal trend nor a Cyclical one (Stuff i learnt in my Management subjects), it's a Fad! For those of you who haven't understood the difference of the above two words- Refer philip Kotler's- 12th ed. Marketing Management! Satisfaction can get to be a trend if only we actually practice it! But in a World of instant things on a click..... satisfaction becomes just a fad! But in order to be seriously happy- Something whish i have realised, we need to stop bothering about society because at the end these people will never be there for you! The only people who will be there for you are those people who satisfied your need, sacrificing their's, whom we would have probably forgot to Thank but deep inside are so Grateful!

The "IF" Option in our lives!

If I was given a second chance in this game called Life
It would be wonderful to know what lies ahead, not to make wrong choices, to lead just the perfect life which everyone wishes for. And if given that second chance at the Game called Life, so many of us would want to eliminate those dreaded mistakes we made on the way.
But if not for the “One- Move Game” we all play,
I would not have known what it is to fall down and still get up beaming.
I would not have known how much a bruise hurts.
I would not have known that when the heart is hurt, the entire body joins in the mourning.
I would not have known what it is to laugh at myself.
I would not have known the value of the people I love the most.
I would not have known how death affects people.
I would not have known that food made at home just tastes awesome when both your hands play an important role. (*wink* now people know why food made by me tastes awesome!)
I would not have known what friends are there for.
I would have never experienced the true feeling of love.. even more the true feeling of hate.
I would not have known the history of the word Crush (- when your heart gets crushed!)
I would not have known how it feels to be loved and how it feels to be hated.
I would not have known that it hurts when people don’t return your calls or texts.
I would not have known what Rising from the Ashes meant and felt.
I would never have realized that the reason why we do something in a particular manner, I would learn in the most unlikely of places- The Exam hall.
I would not have known that the best acting is done by us when we’re trying to dupe someone.
I would not have known that most people always consider the truth as lies and the lies as sacred.
I would not have known how it felt to be misunderstood.
I would not have known why the urge to slap or even throttle someone even crosses our mind.
I would not have ever felt the feeling of guilt or panic.
I would never have been able to Stand up for myself and for what I believed in.
I would have never realized the presence of God.

After all, I would never have realized that I learnt all this and much more all because of the mistakes I made all along the way.
Life is best with its Up’s and Down’s, with its fullness and dullness.
Life is just best the way it is!!!

WHY DOES EVERYONE LIKE A BIT OF GOSSIP?

I have always wondered why everyone likes a Juicy bit of gossip. Thinking over it I have found myself in the midst of Gossip Trails and I have found to be in the middle of a Gossiping session. I have grown up to know that the only thing a bit of gossip can cause is hurt and rifts, for reasons such as these I stay away cause I know “What goes around, comes back around.” But I have also realized that it would be the worst form of destroying yourself.
It is similar to the growing season of a plant. A seed is sown and everyone loves to look after the plant, everyone waters the plant day after day. Root’s develop. It sprouts from below the soil. The plant begins to grow, the interest in the plant still remains in a few and to a few others they start to move slowly away from it. And within no time tables turn. The plant which has turned into a tree looks after the people.
The seed here, being the bit of juicy gossip which someone has planted about you. The people who love to water the plant are the people who just cannot live without putting oil to a fire. The roots are the depth to which the gossip has gripped a person. The plant is you. And the day the plant looks after the people is the day when everything is given back to them with interest.
But still the Question remains. Why?
Maybe it is because of the insecurities people face, they are unable to accept it. Instead they try bringing to light the faults of others not knowing that “Every Dog has its day.”
It is usually brought about by people who have never ever mingled in their lives that they think that the only way a Friendship can last is by throwing dirt on others.
When a person finds himself or rather herself for the first time ever part of a big group minus the attention she yearns for, she looks for the weakest link and tries to find her deepest, darkest secrets but in vain.
When there is no responsibility, nothing to take the mind off from daily events, like a hobby. It leads to people over thinking the days activities to find some fault in the “Oh so Perfect day!”
Desperation also leads to Gossiping. Desperation because of the sudden load of responsibilities or because of the reason they have nothing to do or even because of the reason they haven’t got the attention they deserve.
Everyone likes a bit of gossip and everyone loves to be accepted. Reasons such as these forms the Groupies. And the Gossip Mongers seem to have achieved a status higher than what they ever thought they desired until they realize that the person barely gives a damn to what they think!
This leads to frustration to the ring leader and reasons why more supposed secrets are made up and developed to a larger than life account of the story which is far from the truth. But as long as we are not the Piñata we are really not bothered. We just enjoy as long as the dirt doesn’t get thrown back. It is indeed tiring thinking of what to make up next but they enjoy doing that. For all you know they would even Google search for deep, dark secrets.
When we can actually live life less the frills of gossip, why cant we? After all we just have one life to live. Alas, this could also be the reason why people gossip!
I came across this wonderful blog which spoke about gossip! Boy, It was GOOD! I have attached a link- Hope you don't mind author of the blog, you are going to get a few more readers! http://idiotsandgenious.blogspot.com/2011/07/gossips.html 

When Perfect turns Im-Perfect!

She wonders if its the end! It surely did feel like the end. Mr Imperfect seems to have stopped speaking to her after a Question he asked which she never gave an answer to!
She seems extremely happy for a reason she herself cant find!
Maybe cause she finally gathered the guts and told Imperfect that she still had feelings for him! Though he never replied which he usually does, but the happiness...
Maybe it was cause of the burden released after a very long time! Maybe she should get along with her Life this time! She had finally told him everything for whatever it was worth. The Worst or the Best! Whatever that meant.
Things which she thought he would understand he never did! Things which she thought about him seemed all wrong and she couldn't get a way back! Things just had this very funny way of getting back at her!
She wondered how long it would take for things to get back to Normal. Or maybe it would never get back to Normal. Maybe it wasn't meant to be! She wanted to leave but she just couldn't get herself to leave.
The ending didn't seem Happy? Maybe it wasn't Happy on only one side! Maybe Happy Endings were after all a Myth.

A Two way trip to Heaven!

Everyone wonders what death is like! Whether its something to be scared of or whether its something to be rejoicing about!
Some people talk about seeing heaven when their in COMA or even in their dreams!
But Ammachi, She did Go there and come back! Everyone's going to probably think she's just crazy but I strongly believe so!
Ammachi was unconscious for almost 5 mins, before it was noticed. A Doctor next door was called who was free that very moment and wouldve engaged herself in some other work if it was brought to her notice a few seconds later!
The first sign that heaven was not accepting Ammachi so early!
It was almost 5 minutes and A rescue was like a Miracle waiting to happen! The Doctor came and did the needed, Ammachi slowly did open her eyes! She took time to adjust but she was alright after that!
The second sign that heaven was not accepting Ammachi so early!
Maybe they had to make it up to Me cause they did take Appacha away from Me a bit too early!
When I spoke to Ammachi, my heart just melted and tears welled up and I cried. She asked me whether I was alright and why I was crying! How could I tell her that we had almost lost her to the Unknown for a while!
Within No time, I was by Ammachi's side and the only thing she kept talking about was Heaven!
She told me how she would come running and hug and kiss me when I came to Heaven! And told me that Heaven had an Eligibility criteria. Boy, was I fed up or what of hearing about them! Iv listened to it my entire childhood. But something made me listen to it with extra eagerness this time!
She told me to be like the wonderful people they were! Its tough to meet up to that expectation I thought, but it made me want to give it a shot when she said that She would dance with joy in Heaven everytime she sees us live up to their expectations!
Then Amma came up to her and asked her whether she wanted rest! She looked at my Mother and said that she was tired but there was nothing more that could fill her with Joy then helping us a little in Life's long journey!
She came back as a different person! Maybe she really did go to Heaven! Maybe she was sent back not cause Heaven was full or not cause they were not ready. But because she had more to live, talk and help people with their Lives.
She was a Blessing, is a Blessing and will forever be a Blessing to Me and my Family!
There is nothing more than an I love you Ammachi that can fill the Void which I felt when I thought she was going to leave me forever!

When Perfect turns Im-Perfect!

Something which she thought had ended a while back, struck again!
She tried figuring what exactly He was! She thought He would always turn out the Nice Guy she thought him to be! She compromised a lot, though her friends warned her against it! All that compromising had hurt her to the extremes. He never bothered coming out into the open! It was like He was scared of something! Something which would get his Ego all down! Something which he could not Imagine doing!
But had he gotten away everytime by joking around?
Or Maybe that wasn't called Flirting or Joking around according to him! Only according to everyone else!
Maybe he was just putting up a Good boy Image up! Trying not to give in to anything! That surely did Work!
She wondered why she bothered So much! Alas, only she knows and would not want any one else to know why she bothered so much!
Maybe saying a Sorry was not in his Genes. Or Maybe the Good Boy or Bad Boy Image which ever he thought he needed to keep up to had to be kept And there was No Sorry involved there!
But all she had to tell him was-
"Whether your Great or Not so Great! Small or Big! The Good or the Bad! An Apology forever will remain the same!"
Maybe he doesn't know how to care for People! Maybe He just knows how to Hurt them!
Maybe just Maybe He is Im-Perfect!
Or Maybe again this is just filled with Assumptions, though she will Never know the truth.

Turning 21!

Turning a Year Older usually puts us on an all time low! But Turning 21 was something I was looking forward to for a very long time! Its been a while since Iv written. I just couldn't get myself to write! Maybe cause of the Overdose of events which took place in a month or Maybe cause I just couldn't convert anything of the past one month into words! Or Maybe just Maybe I was having A Blogger's Block.

Turning 21 was something I looked forward to for a very long time! The Day just came like that and went without me even getting a taste of turning 21 slowly!
I remember a friend saying when I said Im looking forward to Turning 21! I was asked why? Whether it was cause I was a year more closer to death! Well that wasn't the reason! Its cause I thought maybe I could try something altogetherly different. Like making a New Word- Altogetherly!
But thinking about that statement I really do not want to turn older than 21!
I wanna be 21 till I Die!

I remember that small girl, she was the Apple of her Grandfather's eye from the day she was born! Its Sad, He left her early! He was the most amazing person she had ever seen! He had a wonderful Personality! She never will imbibe all his Qualities! But there is one thing which she has that No one else in the entire family has except her Grandfather. It's the weird Brown Colour of their eyes.
She grew up to be an extremely Naive human. Though she never liked showing anyone she was Naive until people figure out so.
The Heel of Achiles was always her heart and will always be!
She defied Rules set down to her! She was a Rebel when No one expected her to be! But not once did she cross her Limits. She had always set her Limits even though it was past the Limits set down for her!
But at the end of it! She realised she's got the most wonderful things anyone could ask for!
An ever loving family!
Friends who stay by you forever even If the last time you saw them was 5 years ago.
People just Random People ( This reminds me of Probability which I learnt a Semester back!) who turn out to teach you a lot about Life! Even though those are things which you should have known on your own!
I really couldn't ask for a better 21st Birthday!
A Birthday celebrated with Friends and Family with Lots of Love and Prayer! Though there were a few Important People missing. But I know they'll make it up somehow.
I love you all! Thanks for making it extra special.

The Lost One at my Window.

Getting up late is something that happens when Im on a holiday! Today being part of my Weekend Getaway was No Different. But this Morning I was woken up by Something very different, by something other than the screams of my parents saying Im going to be late for college! It was a Pigeon. It reminded me of Masakali, It looked into my window wondering who were the Earthlings inside! It wondered why the Curtain was drawn apart! It wondered why its privacy had gone! It needed to get back at us so it kept poking its nose into our window. From What I figured it was just telling us I want my privacy back! I told it in my mind we'll move in a day so please let me go to sleep! As if it understood me it flew away!
I curled under my Blanket and was about to get the rest of my sleep when the door banged open and my Brother and Mother emerged after a session at the gym. The newly turned fitness freaks!
It surely was time for breakfast. The dream Briton Breakfast?! Well well well, thats exactly almost what I got and eating with Britons made me realise that exactly was the Dream Briton Breakfast.

"Y - M - C - A!"

Ever Since I realised we were going to be staying at The YMCA! Iv been singing the Popular Number to myself! Trying to Imbibe the sense of YMCA maybe. But ever since I heard the fares, Im still trying to Digest the fact that Im living at the YMCA for the same amount I could Live in the Taj West End or Residency or The Leela Palace In Bangalore! I know The typical Malayalee attitude has struck me!
But I do love Staying at the YMCA! When I finally did get up for Dinner, There was a play going on at the Quadrangle, I suppose! Im still to get used to the place! And the Theme was Easter. It surely did make us feel at home! A lot of things make us feel at home but the pinch of the Fares surely did not make me feel at home!
Dinner was absolutely awesome! Being a supposed ex Diet Conscious Freak, I was so happy I wasn't one any longer and just dug in! Now Im waiting for breakfast already even though thats 9 hours away now! Overall YMCA Delhi is not like the other YMCA's Iv stayed in! Its a different Experience. Well It has to be else the Fares wouldn't be so much!
I think whats affected me is I wouldn't be able to shop so much just cause of this! Well we'll just have to see! But the fact that Our Car too gave
way by Puncturing itself took me aback.
The look from the balcony of our Room is awesome! We've got awesome Neighbours too, The Organising Committee building for the Common Wealth Games 2010 and The Park which is a little away!
The YMCA hasn't caught my attention still much but I love staying here! So Il just have to Pray tomorrow is a better day! And I hope Holy Saturday does do its wonders cause Good Friday was not that Good!

I do not want to be DTOA (Dead Tired On Arrival)!

A trip to the Capital city of India, during a hectic week in the middle of a semester for just a weekend can easily be the best get away I could ever think Of!
Iv been waiting for a holiday! And I just do not want to be Tired on arrival! It usually happens cause Im air sick! Well thinking over it Im basically Travel Sick. But I love exploring places and If ever there was a stream of Undergraduate Courses which dealt with just travel and had a good scope, I would easily have opted for that! But going by the trend Engineering seemed right then! I have No complaints of that though!
Anyways an Early Morning Flight out of Bangalore has a lot of Implications! It means getting up early with the experiences we've had of getting up an hour and a half before the flight we're used to it!
We're out of Our House by 4 and the only tune which keeps humming itself in my Mind was "Leaving on a Jet Plane"! The scenic beauty to the Bengaluru International Airport is always Amazing and it takes my breath away everytime!
But within No time were we in the race with other cabs. So I take out my earphones plug it in and go into a World Of My Own!
I get up in the middle and realise we've reached the Airport, then I started dreading the Journey cause there has only been a travel when I have never shown any Uneasiness! Thanks to my Co Passenger. She kept giving me boosts of Confidence! Well this time its different, this time Im not on my Own! I have my entire family!
By the end of the 2 and a half hour Journey, I realise what the best way to beat the Uneasiness is! Sleep through the entire journey on My Amma' Lap. I wonder what Il do on my Journey back, considering Im going back on my Own again!
Well the famous T3 Terminal took me by surprise. It was amazing! It was like No Airport Iv seen before! It was Awesome! Was this just the beginning of an awesome Weekend Getaway with extremely Out of this world Roaming Charges!? Well it did start as one.
The reason we came to Delhi was a Promotional Transfer! Transfers always give me the jitters! It keeps us all apart but the very fact that its Just a 2 and a half hour flight away, Just an Std call away, Just a National Sms away! It eases my Nerves.
And I still believe in What happens, Always happens for the Good!
Our First stop was the Quarters but we had nothing to spend a day in it! So we decided Shopping and before anything Eating. We were famished!
We go to the Famous South Indian Creation - Saravana Bhavan! It made us feel at home but the prices did make me feel we were paying a bit too much for eating in a place just like home, So far away from Home!
Jet Lag didn't bother me once I realised I was to go Shopping! But that was Short Lived. My Mother fell sick and she was so in need of some Well deserved rest. After all it was a holiday! My Father did not think Twice! Within No Time we were Checked in to The YMCA! I was not DTOA, until I sat on the bed and Got up by 7 in the evening for Dinner!

The Procastinators Bug!

I surely am One person whose been bitten badly by the Procastinator' bug. And Very Very Badly at that!


I had started A Blog about something very close to my heart and I don't seem to get past the second post! I blame it on technology not having advanced to the point where- Whats on my Mind is Interpreted into my Blog!

Im in a bid to Lose weight and the only thing Iv seen myself doing is eating all the stuff which Im not supposed to! I blame this on me not getting the Genes which my Brother has.

Yet again Iv made up my mind to go jogging tomorrow. Im Glad my Friend does not know I procastinate too much! Which I probably will end up proving it to her by sleeping that extra half hour! Again I blame this on College wasting up Most of my Valuable energy to do good stuff!

I had decided that This season of Lent, I will surely fast and give up on my favourites. Only to break it on Ash Wednesday evening! And I blame this upon Getting up in the middle of my sleep and sitting at the dining table all Groggy not knowing what I was eating.

Iv tried giving up The Net for a week! Alas Something Important came up in between.

I just realised along with the Procastinator' Bug, Iv been bitten by the Excusitis Bug.
For EVERY procastination there is An EQUAL and OPPOSITE excuse.


So many Plans, So many dreams, they will remain just so near, yet so far away If I don't get rid of the Bugs soon!

So Iv decided that tomorrow I surely will think of ways to eradicate them Cause Now Im just too Tired.

Not just Another Day!

Another day passes by... I wish she would live forever. I wonder sometimes why Pandora ever opened the box! And brought death and pain out of it! I see her suffer and at times I just dont seem to know who to blame. I would gladly take her place and just want that moment where she is truly happy and full of strength and she looks after me! She realised today that I would take her
place that made me so happy. They formed the band aid which kept us all together! If She leaves, the glue which kept the band aid on will surely go forever.
She is on a bed which No one knows she'll ever recover from! She still at this point Thanks God for giving us to her! She is so Grateful for having Daughters like what she has.
She still keeps a tab on our studies and tell us that Prayers and Luck comes hand in hand!
She remembers her Grand daughter' love marriage! And says how could she ever forget.
She has not realised the facts of life and has not realised the people who have been fake around her!
She is my Grandmother! Around her I cannot express myself cause I can never be the weakling I am in front of her!
I love her very much and Ammachi I assure you every single person will be brought to justice. Even your own Blood!

Someone called Ammachi!

She looks into my eyes with known familiarity.
She can't seem to place who I am!
She knows There is that Bond!
But she can't seem to place the where and How!
I hold her hands,
She reciprocates
Little do I know whats in store.
She takes it up to gently kiss it!
My heart skips a beat knowing she recognises me!
I wish with all my heart that I could replace Her situation.
All I want is her to be with me till the end!
I fight with her but I love her so much!
That it would tear me into pieces knowing that she would leave me sometime.
She's lived her life with truth as her slippers.
With Grace as her armour.
With Strength so great that she could overcome the greatest of disasters.
She is my Grandmother! Ammachi even though now you may never realise, How much I love you!
I just Hope that someday you will!
I hope that all those people who hurt you are brought into Light and given what they truly deserve.
You may not know now who plays the most cause your just a little baby whose at the extremes of the adjective- Naive.
That any change in reaction to them would be called a change in her entire system brought about by external sources.
I love you Ammachi now and forever more!

That One Last Moment...

I feel God does everything for a reason! The reason' varying for different people! For some it maybe for the good! For some it maybe for the bad! But The loss of a loved one affects us the most. Always! I wonder if I were to be faced with just one last moment left in this world what I would ask for.. I would want my entire family and friends with me! I would want to ask for forgiveness to all I have hurt, only my near and dear fall under that category and tell them I love them!
Some people just end their lives not wondering how it is for a Cancer Patient or even a Multiple Organ Failure patient in their final moments. Those final moments are those moments which these patients want more of! But So many people just give it up for Nothing! Those people who attempt Suicide never realise that those moments which led them to it, would one day change forever. But instead they prefer not to fight. They are cowards and dont know that Life is made of these moments. Even God has promised that after good times bad times will follow. And Bad times will surely be followed by Good times, its the cycle of Life! God has given us Life not for us to waste it away and Only he has the right to take it away! Never be afraid of facing Life cause God is Always there to catch you when you fall! Someone once told me that "God answers your prayers to Increase your faith. God delays in answering your Prayers when he wants to Increase your patience. And when he knows you can do it, he stays back and watch you work!"

Our Life is predetermined and the only thing which is known about Our Life on Earth is Death! All of us will die one day, we may not be able to Fall in Love forever. We may not be able to give our best for everything. But we all know that death is for sure! So unless God takes it away just treasure it like you will treasure a Hundred Billion Dollars. Cause you get only one of it!

The Perfect Ending!

Reading has always been a hobby. Reading Love Stories has always been my Favourite. I love wonderful endings. Who would not want a wonderful ending! I read this wonderful ending between this Guy who hates Love and this Girl who just loves Love, and a part of it which any girl would love to hear for that very special ending! ". . . And I'd like to continue doing the stupidest of things with you on a regular basis for the foreseeable future. . . " and Probably get a tattoo of Something special to the girl, In the book I was reading- A cat! And the girl telling the guy . . "But - But- but thats PERMANENT!!!!" and the Guy saying, "So is how I feel about you!" And this followed by The Happily Ever After. Someday down the Lane I wish for A Happily Ever After and I would love the Permanent state of affairs which comes around as a result of Attraction, Trust and Affection! The kind of Love in which the World with all its implications would mean Nothing but a tiny Grain of rice maybe! Where you are not just in Love or act in Love cause of some weird Ulterior motive! Everyone has A Happily Ever After But If you probably keep giving your Happily Ever Afters a toss everytime It comes your Way then You probably just wont get one. . Ever!

We know its over when....

We know its over when the person who you used to be good friends with says "Its kinda odd now!".
We know its over when the person says, "Goodmorning. Have a nice day!" without even mentioning the pet name the person would have put for you! Leave alone pet name, without even mentioning your name!
We know its over when the person acts over cordial!
We know its over when you ask a very simple Question and you never get an answer for it for days! Leave alone days, Never do we get its answer!
We know its over when the person doesn't care a million dollars to even know whether you are Alive and Kicking!
We know its over when you begin to feel "Why should I always take the first step!" cause life is just known by the compromises we make!
We know its over when we think It is Over!
Little do we realise that the people who we value a lot, does not even value us a bit. Whereas the people who value us, never gets to us!It takes time to get over the fact that its over! But its I guess a good ending. I still have not reached the good ending part but am on the taking time to get over the fact. But once Iv reached the end, Il shout It from the Roof tops!

The little piece I call my Own!

How many times have we seen the great People in the news just cause they were seen at a promotional event? How many times have Very famous people' illness sometimes formed the crust of the news? But how many times have we seen our Next door Neighbour saving an Old person from a dreadful accident flashed across the news? How many times have we seen A fighter against Cancer being brought to the lime light? In this big wide Universe the only little piece I can call my own is the little place I occupy to stand! Imagine if all of us were to stand next to each other and there was no place for movement or to gossip about the next person! All of us need a let out! Its similar to my blog! Cause my Life is not filled with the Issues of the world. Neither is this filled with the gossip of celebrities! For me to be given all the space! Its just filled with Bits and pieces from My Life, from the Life of my family members, from the life of even my best friend! Maybe not Directly but In some cases it is! This little piece of property I own is not fenced. Its not being built with bricks and stones! But it is built with words! I ain't any world famous writer but I love writing. And would love to let people know a bit if not everything of what happens in the Life Of the Simple. A shout out in the midst of the worst of scenarios. The things which so many people just overlook as just another thing being brought into the spot light! The tryst with taming a Nightmare. The fake in this world. The people who Use you and then just throw you! This is the only piece which I own where I can write my mind out! But of Course have to be a bit cautious but I think Iv thrown that bit apart. Else this will never seem real. Im glad that even though this space I occupy is Little, It'll surely strike a cord with many!

14th February 2011

Another Valentine' day comes around. Its hard to find something done without a reason of Convenience behind it! Its very hard sometimes to find a Couple around who still have butterflies in their Stomach. Or who really have that spark of Love flying in the air. Writing love letters, giving Roses have all become a Passe! Now gifts are bought keeping in mind whether the gift bought would be Useful. Its no Longer about that spark! An Hour late to college Today, I saw that Love was still the same Centuries ago. With a number of Love letters doing its Round and Roses being gifted. It was just so good to know that that Ancient form of showing you loved someone still existed. My Cousin being in the list of the ancient form of love! I found it so Cute and Loving when he sent her His Valentine wish all the way from The States. A classmate of mine had written 24 letters just to show how much he loved his girl! With all this high end Technology available it is so good to know that people still sit down to write a letter. And its just the perfect way to tell the world I am in Love! I wish I was that kind, though I was a few years ago! But Now, alas! Cutting all the Crap. I want to wish all those friends of mine, my entire family- A Happy Valentines day! I love you'll guys!

When Perfect turns Im- Perfect!

She wondered why everything seemed a joke to him, She wondered why he kept emphasising on the fact to take Life as it came! Foreplanning was something she always did.... She would always look ahead! She knew the future seemed bleak and had the highest probablity of an Impending disaster! But this was it, he had moved on and she had just stuck on only to get hurt again! She had reached the bottom. The bottom with a million hard rocks. She would probably never tell him how she has felt over the entire episode. Rather Saga! She wrote her mind out on paper!
Mr Imperfect this is for you,
"I probably would never know where it just cut off! But I think Iv figured it out by now! What we shared back then I really can't term it but I really did enjoy the time together! Though the times led me to do some stuff which hurt people! I wish you could have just told it to me! Or maybe as usual I just assumed a lot! But whatever it is you must know that the amount I had compromised, the amount I hurt people you just added it both up and hurt me! You have put me in a fix by making me feel that I was just an option in your life! You made me feel like I was the spare tyre! But once you had got what you really needed, you left everything else! And never felt the need to explain. As usual! I wish just for once you will be truthful and just spill out what has been happening! Cause I really have not understood. We used to like being each other' friend! But now its like we just want to maintain the friendship that we remain Cordial to each other! Reminding Me Time and again of the times we shared, Which I fell in Love with again and again! Now I guess we have reached the Saturation point. And I am happy that you seem happy all over again! I may seem a bit fake now but that is the truth. Though I have been a way bit truthful with you! I wish I had not but there is No crying over spilt Milk. All I can say now is rather give now is one tight hug, cause I really dont know what to say! All the best with your Life ahead! This episode surely has to end sometime and now seems the best! I would surely love it when the old you is back! But I guess you cant bring that back once your need did get satisfied. If ever you read this, I really dont know what your reaction would be! You must be furious for bringing you out in this light. Must be furious cause I never bothered to know the truth, but you really never opened up! Must be relieved cause Im finally out! Or I dont know! You probably will never read this! I no longer can guess who you are. Cause I really dont know who you are. Someone once told me that the moments you live the most are the moments which would be lived in lies! So true. Is it not? At least for me it is! Thanks once again for everything."
She wished she could bring everything back to the way it was! But there was this fear and she did not want to put herself through anymore Hurt! Cause she had reached the tip of the peak of getting Hurt!

Bringing Up Ammachi!

Ammachi and I are like the South and the North Poles! But recently Amma discovered that Ammachi and I were alike in just one way: Both of us are like Nightmare' come alive!
Amma' worst nightmare would probably have started the day I was born. I loved sleeping during the day, I still do! But the minute my mind told me everyone was on the verge of going to Sleep, I would get up slowly and then howl my head out! Amma would get up with a jolt groggy, tired after a very long day! I realise the same thing Ammachi does, she sleeps through the day and the minute everyone' home and goes to rest she'll start calling us for extremely silly reasons to us! But extremely important reasons to her!
She has started a quit food movement at home which gives Amma the experience of Living hell by making her eat. She has had the same experience with me! I always make a big fuss to eat . As I am an extremely choosy person be it in eating or anything else! Ammachi supports me in the same but maybe I am a few slabs better than her! Though I have the gene of
praising myself which Ammachi does not!
I have always made Amma be a spectator of my life! I have never made them run my life upto now! The last a mother would want are Children running their Life! No wonder they say what goes around comes back around. So Parents look after children upto a particular time and after that how ever tough it is for parents to accept they have to hand over the baton to their children! They have to trust their children and make them run the race for them! After all did they not bring you pride all the years where they ran their own race? Ammachi was a very active person and she has also never made anyone run her life and now it is so tough to even think that she cannot do a single thing. Now as my little brother has also taken over the baton from my parents. They are living in a world filled with Angelic Devils. Because how ever angry you get with us, you just let it melt away once you look into our eyes and realise that we did not do anything intentionally. But believe me, We could easily form a living hell for anyone!
Hats off Amma and Ramaniammachi for bringing up Ammachi! And of course Amma for bringing me Up! You do deserve a Standing Ovation.

From Ammachi to Amma to Me!

Malayalam movies have this way of getting around which no other Stream of cinema has, on Me! Its genre always being oriented towards family! I have been a fan of Malayalam movies from a very young age, though the language doesn't come across as a cake walk for me! Its a walking, talking real life scenario which we just have not heard about! Recently, I was watching this movie in which the heroine' words caught my attention! She told that she had never seen her mother, never heard much of her but she knows that she loves her mother very much! I wondered what kind of love was that? An unseen Love? An unheard Love? Love in it' purest again! I by the Grace of God have grown up with a Mother! But not once have I recalled ever Thanking her for just being there, Ever telling her that I love her! She may not be the best in a scale of the best Mother', but after all she is my mother! That love is there, it is an underlying Love which I guess not every Child talks about! The same happened to a generation before, My Grandmother and her daughters! Ammachi may not be the best! She may fight, hurt people' feelings.... but as I have said once before and I say it again "The truth always Hurts!". And at times we need to be brought back to reality rather than sitting on cloud 9 and think all is well with the world! Ammachi has always spoken her mind on anything and for those reasons she is not the most loved! But I know how much ever Daughters and Mothers fight, there is an underlying Understanding and Love they will always share! This is dedicated to My Ammachi and My Ma to tell them how much I love them! To my Aunts and Cousins (the girls) That each one of you have taught me so much about Life and Love! Thank You And I Love you all a lot!

When Perfect turns Im- Perfect!

She had been through enough to realise she was Truly, Madly, Deeply in Love with Imperfect! She knows it will always be a long lost dream, a dream which she once dreamt of! A White wedding with The Imperfect guy she loved! She never once thought of Mr Perfect! It would hurt him she knows but it would hurt her if she carried on! She would rather have Loved and then Lost, than to have never loved at all! She wonders whether she is self centered.... She wonders whether she should slowly make an exit out of this "Love Triangle"! She does not want to be the reason for many a heartbreak, cause even she had been at the receiving end and OUCH it did hurt! She probably will never tell Imperfect about this, She would never have the guts to ever...... but one day she wishes he will come to know! Love Stories so complicated yet we cant live without them! The journey this far has been Great, But she knows if She carries on...... it would just hurt her and even more all the people who love her! Guess this is the finale..... But the ending aint happy! Someone once told me when I was small, "If your story' ending aint happy, That aint the ending!" She hope' Some day..... Her Dream would come true!