Appacha!

It's been over a decade and I still miss you terribly. A lot of things would have been different if only you were here with me. But you've taught me so much in such a little time. It's hard to keep your legacy alive but I keep trying every single day. You were my first best friend, my first story teller, my first mentor and guide, my first protector. You formed a lot of my first's. You were my Super Hero!
I know you look from above and I can feel you pushing me on when things go wrong and I just do not want to carry on. I know you still beam proudly when I have accomplished something. You keep reminding me of all the simple things in life - Giving a smile to someone when the whole world is crumbling around you, cause you never know what that smile could do. Giving the little you have to the one who needs it more than you. To Forgive and Forget all the wrong done to you, however hard it may sound at first. The one way talks I have with you and your reply being a miracle. I know at times I sound kiddish but these are the little things which push me on in life.
After all, I have the rights to act kiddish cause I was your favorite and you were always and will always be my favorite. I love you Appacha!

A Two way trip to Heaven!

Everyone wonders what death is like! Whether its something to be scared of or whether its something to be rejoicing about!
Some people talk about seeing heaven when their in COMA or even in their dreams!
But Ammachi, She did Go there and come back! Everyone's going to probably think she's just crazy but I strongly believe so!
Ammachi was unconscious for almost 5 mins, before it was noticed. A Doctor next door was called who was free that very moment and wouldve engaged herself in some other work if it was brought to her notice a few seconds later!
The first sign that heaven was not accepting Ammachi so early!
It was almost 5 minutes and A rescue was like a Miracle waiting to happen! The Doctor came and did the needed, Ammachi slowly did open her eyes! She took time to adjust but she was alright after that!
The second sign that heaven was not accepting Ammachi so early!
Maybe they had to make it up to Me cause they did take Appacha away from Me a bit too early!
When I spoke to Ammachi, my heart just melted and tears welled up and I cried. She asked me whether I was alright and why I was crying! How could I tell her that we had almost lost her to the Unknown for a while!
Within No time, I was by Ammachi's side and the only thing she kept talking about was Heaven!
She told me how she would come running and hug and kiss me when I came to Heaven! And told me that Heaven had an Eligibility criteria. Boy, was I fed up or what of hearing about them! Iv listened to it my entire childhood. But something made me listen to it with extra eagerness this time!
She told me to be like the wonderful people they were! Its tough to meet up to that expectation I thought, but it made me want to give it a shot when she said that She would dance with joy in Heaven everytime she sees us live up to their expectations!
Then Amma came up to her and asked her whether she wanted rest! She looked at my Mother and said that she was tired but there was nothing more that could fill her with Joy then helping us a little in Life's long journey!
She came back as a different person! Maybe she really did go to Heaven! Maybe she was sent back not cause Heaven was full or not cause they were not ready. But because she had more to live, talk and help people with their Lives.
She was a Blessing, is a Blessing and will forever be a Blessing to Me and my Family!
There is nothing more than an I love you Ammachi that can fill the Void which I felt when I thought she was going to leave me forever!

Not just Another Day!

Another day passes by... I wish she would live forever. I wonder sometimes why Pandora ever opened the box! And brought death and pain out of it! I see her suffer and at times I just dont seem to know who to blame. I would gladly take her place and just want that moment where she is truly happy and full of strength and she looks after me! She realised today that I would take her
place that made me so happy. They formed the band aid which kept us all together! If She leaves, the glue which kept the band aid on will surely go forever.
She is on a bed which No one knows she'll ever recover from! She still at this point Thanks God for giving us to her! She is so Grateful for having Daughters like what she has.
She still keeps a tab on our studies and tell us that Prayers and Luck comes hand in hand!
She remembers her Grand daughter' love marriage! And says how could she ever forget.
She has not realised the facts of life and has not realised the people who have been fake around her!
She is my Grandmother! Around her I cannot express myself cause I can never be the weakling I am in front of her!
I love her very much and Ammachi I assure you every single person will be brought to justice. Even your own Blood!

Someone called Ammachi!

She looks into my eyes with known familiarity.
She can't seem to place who I am!
She knows There is that Bond!
But she can't seem to place the where and How!
I hold her hands,
She reciprocates
Little do I know whats in store.
She takes it up to gently kiss it!
My heart skips a beat knowing she recognises me!
I wish with all my heart that I could replace Her situation.
All I want is her to be with me till the end!
I fight with her but I love her so much!
That it would tear me into pieces knowing that she would leave me sometime.
She's lived her life with truth as her slippers.
With Grace as her armour.
With Strength so great that she could overcome the greatest of disasters.
She is my Grandmother! Ammachi even though now you may never realise, How much I love you!
I just Hope that someday you will!
I hope that all those people who hurt you are brought into Light and given what they truly deserve.
You may not know now who plays the most cause your just a little baby whose at the extremes of the adjective- Naive.
That any change in reaction to them would be called a change in her entire system brought about by external sources.
I love you Ammachi now and forever more!