It's Resolution making Time!

New Year resolutions are something that I vowed never to make when I was small because they just didn’t make any sense what so ever! There was absolutely no logic in turning a new leaf only on one single day, only to turn back a few days later! There is no reason why that one single day is singled out when we are supposed to take life one step at a time. Why do we bother to think about what we would do in a year’s time when we aren’t even sure how we will get through tomorrow? I think the best form of resolutions come at the most unexpected of times! The times when Life would have taught us a lesson and we just wouldn’t want to repeat that mistake again! When we have realised our mistake, sometimes it brings about a change internally very slowly! Sometimes you don’t even know that it is happening until after a while you realise you could live without that particular thing you thought you couldn’t live without. I recently read an article on New Year resolutions and believe me I seriously was amused by the entire article that it got me thinking. I had this subject called Total Quality Management, in which they say that in order to motivate a worker in an organisation we induce a negative form of theme- that is instead of saying I will become a good girl this year, I say I will stop being a bad girl! Well that won’t make sense unless you actually have a look at the subject! I really can’t imagine that I am actually using my subjects in real life! Whoo hoo! I am proud of myself! I kept promising myself that I would lose weight every year only to give up on the first day when I have to get up early morning! But one fine day I did reduce weight; this didn’t start on New Year’s Day as a resolution! It just started very slowly inside me without me knowing! Now I know that I am going to be writing this cause the only good thing which is going to be happening from this is I am still writing my Blog like a good girl! Knowing so very well that I am just putting on weight cause all I’m actually doing is enjoying the cold weather and spoiling myself by getting up late, skipping breakfast on days I don’t feel like eating, switching on the laptop and going about doing absolutely nothing of use! Then putting the laptop for charge while I see a few sit-coms on TV! Then eating in between and I again sit with the laptop and the TV again! So that’s how I spend my vacation, so you can imagine what I would probably become! But that’s apart from the point, the point is that we make resolutions which we want but are not that needy about it! Because if we were, we would have fought till we satisfied our wish! Either ways, I wish everyone a Happy New Resolution Making Year!

Everyone wants to be a STAR!

This was something that I heard in a talk show recently, where the host and the “Star” said that every single human wants to be a star! So be it, to each their own! Just listening to that I wondered whether they realised that the stardom comes attached with Great responsibility. Without that, how can you call a person a star? They have done something great maybe once but it must continue, it mustn’t just stop there! This was something I had a discussion with a professor! It ain’t easy being a star but sometimes we really don’t want to be known because of the strings attached! It’s like some of the parables in the Bible! Where Jesus says when you give make sure your left hand doesn’t know you gave it! That’s the real star! Not someone who comes on TV! We are still alive because of the numerous forms of people working to make life on earth a little easier, the numerous soldiers whose names we don’t know out there whose given up their lives for the country, the numerous doctors out there trying to save these very “Star’s” Lives, the scientists, social workers! How do people define Stardom? Seriously, if ever it deals with people who are known by at least a part of the world it should be redefined! It’s not like I am against any sort of this “Stardom” but it is high time people redefine it! A Star doesn’t need to come on TV! How many of us know of people who are stars in our own eyes? For me it starts with my family, from my Grandfather to my Grandmother to my Parents- especially my Mother to my Aunt! We are seriously happy just being the way we are, we don’t want fame! We want our own little Private garden where we can make our own little mistakes without it being brought into the scrutiny of the whole world! We want to learn from those mistakes in our own time! A real star is what that person is in the dark and not what he is when he is in the spotlight! Celebrities do a lot of things in the limelight but do they lead the same lives in the dark? My Grandfather is a real Star…. He’s been among the people who fought for our country, he’s been among the people who worked hard to change the way people lived, he’s made life easier for so many people known and unknown! He’s made life easier for me! I really don’t care whether anyone ever knew my grandfather to be a star but to me he was a Star and will remain so forever! The same applies to my Grandmother and my Mother, My mother has made life easier at home not for just my brother and me but for 3 generations- my grandparents generation, her generation and mine! She has worked tirelessly without getting the slightest bit of appreciation! What drives her to still do it, without a grumble? That is a real star! She is a real star! My aunt she’s fought Cancer and that is no frivolous task with a family to maintain! These are the people who inspire us truly in our day to day lives! these people have given themselves for us, they’ve given up their happiness for us! They are the Real stars!

The Great Indian Mallu Wedding

Malayalee weddings are known for their grandeur in the form of the gold worn by each and every person in the hall, leave alone the Bride! The women (Mostly, the older generation), play the game of who’s worn the most expensive sari and who’s worn the maximum amount of Gold in the hall. Not just among themselves but they’ll compare each and every person in the hall. They’ll find out who are the next most eligible bachelors and bachelorettes. They classify the eligible ones under the basis of: 1. Education, 2. Salary- though it’s a wonder how they know it better than the people who are working, 3. Family income- in the form of property and the like (popularly called “Sothe” in Malayalam.) 4. Dowry expected 5. Family line No one now is bothered about anything else, before with the oldest generation (i.e.; Our Appacha’s and Ammachi’s times), People were a bit bothered about how the girl and boy looked, whether they are loving and kind. But alas, even after looking into all those detail’s, once there is the union of two souls, there is also the union of the “Sothe”- from both the sides. Sometimes, not all the times, certain people get a bit too greedy and something’s they don’t deserve they take over. Not bothering about the state of affairs of their parents! But that’s that about the inside affairs of the Great Indian Mallu wedding! Every wedding is always a grand affair, so is it with us. It is just not any different. We enjoy it in the most homely manner with the selection of clothes for the Bride or the Groom, the selection of that Wedding invite which people would feel so welcomed with. Gold shopping. Bride and Groom’s parent’s clothes shopping, the clothes shopping for each of the direct extended family. Shopping for the Bride and the Groom, when they go meet relatives, when they go on their honey moon. Shopping is fun, though it involves getting into a million shops! The number of shopkeeper’s we would have irritated, the number of salespeople we would’ve driven crazy with our wants. We come back home tired and still find a moment to laugh about how we drove those people crazy. The getting dressed up for the wedding starts almost a month before for the entire family, with a few exceptions. The amount of cameras clicked, to relive those lost moments when we feel lost and lonely. The putting in of ideas for decorations, gifts, food and lots more! The writing of toasts and the Google searching of ideas to make the wedding an extra special affair for the entire family! The togetherness starts a few days before D-day, there are a number of last minute activities we do on those last few days! The screams across the house, the tidying up for that last dinner party which will be thrown by the Bride’s and the Groom’s side! This is one of the only events which brings the entire family together- we see relatives we have never seen before, we see the happiness in each one’s face, the joy of just being together, the “being yourself” attitude being brought out from the depths! The pulling of the Bride’s and Groom’s leg, wondering what kind of terrorists the other family would be. (No offence, to be taken in the funniest form) And on D- day, we see a myriad of emotions again… the bride and the groom will probably have never imagined such a perfect day or such a scary day or I don’t know, I’ll fill you on details when I get married. There are a number of photographs taken of the entire family with the bride and the groom, the Priest prays at the Groom’s and the Bride’s place. (Different one’s of course) The Bride is blessed by the Uncle’s in the family. The car, so carefully decorated soon drives into Church, the relatives shush as the Most Beautiful Girl and the Most Handsome Boy emerges from the car. They are of course, the stars to be admired for the day! Back inside the church, Mother’s sit with their eligible sons and look out for eligible daughter –in – laws. To which we just, act as if nothing happened and smile at their interaction! The ceremony is the most purest form of love! Nothing could ever beat its purity! Sometimes the ceremony just drags that our minds are drawn to what there will be to eat! Hoping our favourites would be there! Alas, this is the Great Indian Mallu Wedding! 

A Letter

Dear God, You know who I am; You know how good I have been and how bad I have been. (Even though that’s Santa’s job too) How true I have been and how true I have not been. You know what my future holds, You know every single detail. Your planning is just impeccable and incomparable. You are brought about as Our Ever Loving God and Ever Forgiving Father and maybe it’s because of that I write this letter to you. There are so many things I have taken for granted, so many times when I haven’t thanked you! You’ve kept me safe through thick and thin, you’ve kept my Family safe! Many a time I have forgotten to keep my promise to you alive, and I get furious when somebody doesn’t keep my promise. I lash back at you, when things don’t go my way. I ask you why you couldn’t get me through that one time, forgetting to thank you for all those times you got me through life! No wonder they call you Ever Loving and Ever Forgiving. You haven’t just got me through Life; you’ve taught me in your own time how to play this game called life, through little lessons every single day of my life. You’ve fulfilled my wishes, though many a times I don’t deserve it. You have taught me that something’s have to be earned. You’ve taught me that you cannot blame anyone for your mistakes except you. You’ve filled me up with that extra bout of energy, that extra loving heart, that extra wary personality to keep me safe and you’ve taught me that Charity always starts at Home! You’ve stood by me, when the entire world turned against me! You taught me that, there was nothing greater than fighting for One’s family and it’s values. You’ve showed me your angel’s and your work in the most unexpected of situations, through family, friends and enemies. Who else could teach this little girl so much! Thank you so much Dear God! I love you and I want you to know that I don’t do things on purpose, sometimes they are just weighed with a lot of emotion. Yours lovingly, Me. 

SATISFACTION, STUBBORNESS, GRATITUDE & SACRIFICE!

Why aren't we ever satisfied with things we have and always want things instantly which we do not have? Why are we unwilling to sacrifice things which we want or have if it will make someone happy? That's when a family come's in- Grandparents, Parents... I'm one among them, well just till I pass that particular item in the store! But sometimes, my stubborn nature gets the better of me and I act so adament just to get that, my parents would probably put something they would've wanted just to satisfy my need! I have seen all the Women- My Grandmother, Mother, Aunt's in my life put their wants on hold just to satisfy their kith and kin, only to get Nil Gratitude! I think that trait is hidden in every girl from the minute they are born! But some are just unwilling to except the fact- me included! ;) The same things happen's in life, you want something but you just don't have it... instead your worst enemy just got it! Whew isn't that enough to put you on an all time low! The problem is that we want to get affected with the fact that we don't have it! There are so many things that we have that so many other's don't have! But it just doesn't seem the same without that new extra thing! That new extra thing which we haven't earned as yet! It's just that we feel a little alone to some extent, a little scared about how we will be accepted by society! Society now play's such a role in our day to day lives! Everyday!Have you ever realised that it is not a Trend- it's neither a Seasonal trend nor a Cyclical one (Stuff i learnt in my Management subjects), it's a Fad! For those of you who haven't understood the difference of the above two words- Refer philip Kotler's- 12th ed. Marketing Management! Satisfaction can get to be a trend if only we actually practice it! But in a World of instant things on a click..... satisfaction becomes just a fad! But in order to be seriously happy- Something whish i have realised, we need to stop bothering about society because at the end these people will never be there for you! The only people who will be there for you are those people who satisfied your need, sacrificing their's, whom we would have probably forgot to Thank but deep inside are so Grateful!

The "IF" Option in our lives!

If I was given a second chance in this game called Life
It would be wonderful to know what lies ahead, not to make wrong choices, to lead just the perfect life which everyone wishes for. And if given that second chance at the Game called Life, so many of us would want to eliminate those dreaded mistakes we made on the way.
But if not for the “One- Move Game” we all play,
I would not have known what it is to fall down and still get up beaming.
I would not have known how much a bruise hurts.
I would not have known that when the heart is hurt, the entire body joins in the mourning.
I would not have known what it is to laugh at myself.
I would not have known the value of the people I love the most.
I would not have known how death affects people.
I would not have known that food made at home just tastes awesome when both your hands play an important role. (*wink* now people know why food made by me tastes awesome!)
I would not have known what friends are there for.
I would have never experienced the true feeling of love.. even more the true feeling of hate.
I would not have known the history of the word Crush (- when your heart gets crushed!)
I would not have known how it feels to be loved and how it feels to be hated.
I would not have known that it hurts when people don’t return your calls or texts.
I would not have known what Rising from the Ashes meant and felt.
I would never have realized that the reason why we do something in a particular manner, I would learn in the most unlikely of places- The Exam hall.
I would not have known that the best acting is done by us when we’re trying to dupe someone.
I would not have known that most people always consider the truth as lies and the lies as sacred.
I would not have known how it felt to be misunderstood.
I would not have known why the urge to slap or even throttle someone even crosses our mind.
I would not have ever felt the feeling of guilt or panic.
I would never have been able to Stand up for myself and for what I believed in.
I would have never realized the presence of God.

After all, I would never have realized that I learnt all this and much more all because of the mistakes I made all along the way.
Life is best with its Up’s and Down’s, with its fullness and dullness.
Life is just best the way it is!!!

WHY DOES EVERYONE LIKE A BIT OF GOSSIP?

I have always wondered why everyone likes a Juicy bit of gossip. Thinking over it I have found myself in the midst of Gossip Trails and I have found to be in the middle of a Gossiping session. I have grown up to know that the only thing a bit of gossip can cause is hurt and rifts, for reasons such as these I stay away cause I know “What goes around, comes back around.” But I have also realized that it would be the worst form of destroying yourself.
It is similar to the growing season of a plant. A seed is sown and everyone loves to look after the plant, everyone waters the plant day after day. Root’s develop. It sprouts from below the soil. The plant begins to grow, the interest in the plant still remains in a few and to a few others they start to move slowly away from it. And within no time tables turn. The plant which has turned into a tree looks after the people.
The seed here, being the bit of juicy gossip which someone has planted about you. The people who love to water the plant are the people who just cannot live without putting oil to a fire. The roots are the depth to which the gossip has gripped a person. The plant is you. And the day the plant looks after the people is the day when everything is given back to them with interest.
But still the Question remains. Why?
Maybe it is because of the insecurities people face, they are unable to accept it. Instead they try bringing to light the faults of others not knowing that “Every Dog has its day.”
It is usually brought about by people who have never ever mingled in their lives that they think that the only way a Friendship can last is by throwing dirt on others.
When a person finds himself or rather herself for the first time ever part of a big group minus the attention she yearns for, she looks for the weakest link and tries to find her deepest, darkest secrets but in vain.
When there is no responsibility, nothing to take the mind off from daily events, like a hobby. It leads to people over thinking the days activities to find some fault in the “Oh so Perfect day!”
Desperation also leads to Gossiping. Desperation because of the sudden load of responsibilities or because of the reason they have nothing to do or even because of the reason they haven’t got the attention they deserve.
Everyone likes a bit of gossip and everyone loves to be accepted. Reasons such as these forms the Groupies. And the Gossip Mongers seem to have achieved a status higher than what they ever thought they desired until they realize that the person barely gives a damn to what they think!
This leads to frustration to the ring leader and reasons why more supposed secrets are made up and developed to a larger than life account of the story which is far from the truth. But as long as we are not the Piñata we are really not bothered. We just enjoy as long as the dirt doesn’t get thrown back. It is indeed tiring thinking of what to make up next but they enjoy doing that. For all you know they would even Google search for deep, dark secrets.
When we can actually live life less the frills of gossip, why cant we? After all we just have one life to live. Alas, this could also be the reason why people gossip!
I came across this wonderful blog which spoke about gossip! Boy, It was GOOD! I have attached a link- Hope you don't mind author of the blog, you are going to get a few more readers! http://idiotsandgenious.blogspot.com/2011/07/gossips.html